This post is a little late as I have given birth to my little one now. However, whilst being on maternity leave I thought I'd write about my pregnancy journey. Especially as it was a pregnancy after a miscarriage.
I'll take you back to May 2022 and my fiance and I were on a day trip to Chester where he proposed (yay 🎉) and he suggested going for celebratory drinks together. At which point I said that I was feeling like I had before we found out we were pregnant in 2021 so I wasn't going to risk it and cause any issues that could possibly cause a miscarriage. I didn't know I was pregnant for sure as I hadn't yet missed my period and I hadn't taken a test.
I waited until it was a couple of days before my missed period as I was convinced I was pregnant, I got up early in the morning before my fiance was awake and took a test. I waited the 3 minutes and when I looked I saw the faintest line so I woke my fiance up and showed him. He didn't get too excited as it was a faint line last time too.
I then waited until a few days after I had missed my period and took another test early in the morning. Again there was a line and it was a little stronger. I started to get hopeful as did my partner.
We decided to book in for a private early scan for 7 weeks pregnant.
I was full of anxiety about going for the scan and I kept taking pregnancy tests just to make sure that the line was getting stronger. I also took a few digital tests so I could see the weeks change on it from 2 weeks to 3+ weeks etc.
The scan day eventually arrived and we sat in the waiting area of the private scan clinic absolutely petrified that what happened previously would happen again. I didn't have the gut feeling of something being wrong like I had with that pregnancy though. We went in the room for the scan and the sonographer was really understanding and said she wouldn't turn the screen on for us until she had done her checks and then she was so pleased for us when it was good news and we had a little baby growing with a heartbeat.
A few days after the scan the morning sickness hit me like a tonne of bricks. I suffered a lot of nausea and I threw up daily. I generally didn't enjoy the first trimester and all the sickness.
We had booked to go to Rome for my fiancé's birthday before we found out we were pregnant. We flew to Rome when I was around 9 weeks pregnant and I worried the entire flight out that something was going to happen and go wrong.
The heat in Rome in July was absolutely killer. I almost passed out in the Colosseum from the heat and the nausea from morning sickness. I spent the second night in the hotel room throwing up so much it was ridiculous.
When we returned from Rome I was still worried that flying had done something and I booked yet another private scan for 10 weeks. We went and thankfully everything was OK, our baby had grown and still had a heartbeat.
A few days later I had my booking appointment and went through everything and all my worries with the midwife. She was very reassuring and helped me to realise it was very normal for me to feel anxious after the previous pregnancy.
At just over 12 weeks we went for our dating scan and we were thrilled to see our baby again and that everything was progressing as it should.
I hit 14 weeks and the nausea had eased loads and I was grateful but then I worried that something had happened. Anxiety in pregnancy following a miscarriage can be so bad as you constantly worry something will go wrong again.
At my 16 week midwife appointment I voiced my anxiety so she and I listened to my babies heartbeat through the doppler and I was at ease again. It was also around this time that the heartburn started which made me nauseous at night.
I suffered with heartburn throughout my entire second trimester which meant I suffered with nausea the entire way through. Again I did not enjoy pregnancy 🙈
I felt terrible for not enjoying pregnancy as I knew I was lucky to be pregnant with our rainbow.
I had multiple growth scans throughout my pregnancy in the end due to catching covid and having a really bad sickness bug in my third trimester. Each time I worried something would happen and I was so pleased when everything was OK.
We made it to full term and even went a full 2 weeks overdue!
I will admit that although I was extremely grateful to be pregnant with my rainbow baby, I really did not enjoy pregnancy. I had nausea the entire way through in the end and the heartburn and anxiety were not enjoyable. I don't think I would want to be pregnant again.